


The High School Adventures of Danny DeVito

by dxnnydxvito



Category: Danny Devito - Fandom, Jojo siwa - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game), obama - Fandom
Genre: M/M, anime girl danny devito, flirty danny devito, help me, i wrote this at 2am, jojo siwa swears profusely, my cousin hates this with a passion, obama as a teacher, oh god now sans is here, shoutout to my cousin, this is fucking horrid, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24165325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dxnnydxvito/pseuds/dxnnydxvito
Summary: Your everyday uwu anime girl, Danny DeVito, is 18 and ready for his senior year at a new high school! What adventures may await him and his newfound friends? ((the line between irony and actuality is getting real blurred here))This story can also be found on Quotev!
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Shrek (Shrek), danny devito/obama, danny devito/sans undertale, danny devito/steve minecraft
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

I ran as fast as I could. I was late to my first day of my new high school! I sure hope my teachers won't be mad at me... Oh well! Even if they are, my stunning personality will have them on their knees! Figuratively and maybe literally... ;3 

I finally got to my first class - math - and knocked on the door. My teacher opened it and gasped. 

"Oh! Why hello~! Are you my new student we've all been waiting so longingly for?" He asked, knees weak, arms heavy. 

"I am~!" I giggled. "I'm Danny DeVito!" 

That's right. I'm Danny DeVito, your everyday 18 year old uwu anime girl high schooler. I seduce classmates and teachers, but on the inside, I only long for someone... Special... From long ago... My very own Sans Undertale. 

"Well, Ms... Mr..? DeVito, we are... so glad you're finally here with us," my teacher continued. "I am your teacher, Mr. Obama, but you can call me Daddy ;)." 

I don't know how he said ;) out loud. "Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Obama, but I'm actually a top~ But thank you for the offer, ahehe~!" 

"Oh, I'm sorry Danny-senpai," Mr. Obama said. "M-may I call you Daddy instead? UwU?"

"Only in bed~ ;))))," I replied saucily. Apparently I have the power of the ;) too! "Where do I sit, Mistew Obama?" 

"Ah, yes!" He said. "Your seat is back there, next to the girl with the fucking stupid ponytail." 

A blonde girl with a huge forehead waved. "Hey big boy~!" She called. "I'm Jojo Siwa!" 

"I'm sorry ma'am, I can't grace you with my acts of Gucci," I pensive emoji'd. "You're a minor, and I'm 18. It's illegal." 

"Fucking dammit," she cursed. "Every fucking time, I'm going to shit my pan-"

"Okay, hi, I'm sorry," another girl, with orange hair, interrupted. "This is stupid. This whole thing is stupid. And illegal. Students and teachers can't flirt or date, and Danny DeVito isn't 18? He's 75. Why the hell is he in a high school?"

"Alex, you hoe, let the man talk. He is hot and I am gay," the guy next to her interrupted. "I will lust over Danny DeVito despite any and all consequences." 

"Thank you mystery man~! UwU~! And I am 18, Alex," I said. "It's an AU, ahehe~!" 

"Fucking dumbass AU bitchass hoeass stupid shit," she swore. "I hate this fucking damned school and everyone in it." 

"Jojo, you're just saying that because Steve wouldn't screw you. He's gay," Alex said. "Like... Bruh. My brother isn't obligated to fuck you." 

"Well, will you fuck me~?" Jojo asked, seductively. 

"No, because I have fucking taste," Alex said. "Thank you though. Also, again, with the illegal thing. We are minors. That- that's illegal." 

"Bitch," Jojo swore again. 

Suddenly, the bell rang!

"Uwa~!! I'll be late for my next class too, oh no~!" I seductively pensive emoji'd. "I'll see you later, Mr. Obama~!" I winked at him as I walked out the classroom door.

I think this year will be a great year at Hrrgbrrg High!  
  
  
\-------------  
written 05/13/2020  
a/n: im not sorry


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny DeVito finds his long lost lover, Sans Undertale - but what will the two have to say to each other after such a long time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhHH um warning for like,, idk danny made more dick jokes and stuff ig lmao  
> oh also dannys kinda an asshole in this chapter, warning for that

Danny DeVito walked to his next class. On the way, he passed someone by the lockers. Someone he hadn't seen in a _very_ long time.

"S-Sans? Sans Undertale?" He stammered. "I thought you were... _dead_."

"O-oh! Danny!"

"Is it really you, my love?" Danny asked, in awe. "For so many years, a time longer than my massive, throbbing dick, I thought you were dead. Gone. In the void, turned to dust. But you're here!" Danny smiled at this last statement. 

"Yeah man. I'm back," Sans replied nonchalantly. "I was just vibing, y'know? I was having a bonerific time."

"BONERific?" Danny said and winked. "That'll be us in bed tonight."

"Oh, um...About that," Sans rubbed his neck- er, spinal cord. "So uh... I've been gone, awhile..."

"Yes! And I missed you more than anything in the world, my sanspai uwu~"

"...Yeah, uh... Well, while I was gone, I found... someone else." Sans coughed. "And we're-" -another cough- "-dating now."

Danny stopped breathing. "You- I-" He started fidgeting. "Who? Who is it? Who do you love more than me?" He stared down his former lover.

"I'm..." He took a deep breath. "I'm dating Shrek."

"WHAT!? _Shrek_ _?_ Over _me_ _?_ What does _he_ have that _I_ don't?" Tears welled in Danny's eyes.

"He... He's like an onion. Shrek has layers." Sans replied. "There's more to him then just dick jokes and flirtatiousness. There's other things, like depression, and his aversion to literally everyone else."

"Wait," Danny stopped him. "Isn't Shrek married? To Fiona?"

"Oh, he's poly."

"Oh, okay. Well what about _me_ _?_ "

"Well, I mean..." he trailed off. "You're... You're not... I'm not really _attracted_ to you anymore."

"You WHAT?!" Danny yelled. "What do you MEAN you don't like me anymore?! What did I do? I'll make it up to you, please-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sans interrupted. "I never said I hate you. I'm just not romantically or sexually attracted to you anymore."

"But sansie-"

"-Oh my God, don't call me that-"

"Why can't we rekindle our former flame? Our bonfire of passion? Commit arson with our sexual tension?"

"...Because I don't want to? I'm not, like, _obligated_ to date you, dude." He shook his head. "This is... kind of one of the reasons I did this. I don't think you understand consent properly, and that's a major issue. Also, the bell rang, like, 5 minutes ago. We're late."

Sans walked off, leaving Danny DeVito in stunned silence.

\-------  
written 05/29/2020  
a/n: i was sad, so heres this monstrosity 2 electric boogaloo


End file.
